Tired with all these for restful death I cry,
As to behold desert a beggar born,
And needy nothing trimmed in jollity,
And purest faith unhappily forsworn,
And gilded honour shamefully misplaced,
And maiden virtue rudely strumpeted,
And right perfection wrongfully disgraced,
And strength by limping sway disabled
And art made tongue-tied by authority,
And folly (doctor-like) controlling skill,
And simple truth miscalled simplicity,
And captive good attending captain ill.
Tired with all these, from these would I be gone,
Save that to die, I leave my love alone.
I was born in Kharkov in a place called Bold Mountain. Bold Mountain was different from all other industrial outskirts by the fact that Temple of the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God was built and worked there.
It hung over our district and hovered over our wretched dwellings. It could be seen from all sides and it seemed to form the very atmosphere around it, even though it was the period of socialism development, the temple continued to gather incredible number of old ladies.The bells of the Temple rang daily and it lived its own life. In my childhood I was tormented by the questions: “What is a church? What is it like? And what is it for?» I addressed all these questions to my grandmother. “Grandma, tell me,” I moaned.
In that time, kids were prohibited from entering the church. Well, no one stood at the door with a sign: » NO ENTER for kids», but no one welcomed the child’s going to church, it is because we lived under socialism and «Gagarin flew into the space but did not see God.»
I continued to bore my grandmother with questions: “Well, tell me,” and then one day she, being unable to withstand my pressure, said: “The church is the house of God,” and then the old woman, as it is said, got into serious trouble.
I no longer had any goal in my life except getting to visit God. «Grandma lets go to visit God, grandmother lets go to visit God, grandmother lets go to visit…» I continued bothering my grandmother as hard as a child can, the old woman could not stand my persistent requests and tears and said: «Okay, let’s go on Sunday.» I, of course, shocked my family by announcing to them that I was going to visit God. Mom fell unconscious, my father grabbed the salmiac, and everyone drank Corvalol, but as soon as my grandmother came, everything fell on its place. «We are going on Sunday to the church, only two of us»
To say that this building amazed me is to say nothing. It was larger than our little room where we lived, it was larger than the kindergarten where I went, it was more than anything I had ever imagined in my life. The inner space of the church oppressed and overwhelmed with its grandeur, it made me, a little boy, feel as a small bug.
As a child, I did not know the word «insignificance», but I fully felt it.
Pictures hung all around the walls, candles were burning, there was a smell of something sugary-soft, some incomprehensible lamps were burning, something incomprehensible sounded and was happening around.
And the one and only thing haunted me: “Where is God, grandma? Where is God? Where is God? Grandma, where is God? » — I repeated the same thing. The grandmother brushed aside: “Shut up! Shut up, please.»
A kind lady unfamiliar to me, could not resist my tears and bending over to me she said in my ear: «Baby, God is not home, but he will come soon, we are waiting for him.»
This killed me completely. God is not at home, but some people are doing something in his house, singing songs, smoking something. What for? It is not clear… Why? How it could be? Master is not at home, but people… What are they doing here, as well as we are. It’s not good to enter the house if the Master is not in here and take his things, I knew that for sure. Grandmother did not cope with the flow of new questions, I got a spank on my bum and we just left the church and never went there together again.
A lot of time passed, grandmother passed away as well and Kharkov is another country.
The era and people have changed, but every time I enter a temple, church or mosque, I clearly hear the quiet voice of that unknown woman speaking in my ear: “Baby, God is not at home, but soon he will come, we are waiting for him”.
Todays life is rich in surprises, and now the Head of the Russian Orthodox Church consecrated the Church of All Saints in Strasbourg. “Today we are building on average three churches a day — I’m not mistaken, in 24 hours. 30 thousand churches in ten years”- he said, addressing the prayers who came to the service. “This is not because we have a lot of money and we don’t know where to spend it,” the primate said. “Our people, who have gone through the years of atheism, understood both in their mind and in their hearts that nothing happens without God.”
As Patriarch Kirill noted, «in our technologically advanced civilization we need places where a person could feel closer to God.»
30,000 thousand additionally to the existing ones, this is something! Another reasonable question is who needs these tens of thousands of «houses without the master»? Who will visit these temples???
According to the statistics, only 1% of Russia’s residents are active Orthodox. 1%!!!
They restored the largest temple, the Cathedral of Christ the Savior, which they had destroyed by themselves, I emphasize not some enemies, but they themselves destroyed it.
Has the restoration of the temple increased the religiosity of the population? Did more people start visiting churches, receiving communion, fasting or finally turning to believing in God?
No! No! And one more time no.
This new parishes will demand money for its upkeeping, but community will not give tithes, as it was long time ago, and the Russian Orthodox Church, but actually, the state, will have to take on its shoulders the whole burden of taking care of another 30,000 graduates of the Theological academies.
Stagnation, degradation and agony — this is how you can characterize what is happening in the Russian Orthodox Church.
All this sounds sad and hopeless.
But nevertheless, there is still hope that a real Temple will appear in this world.
A temple where you can bring your Faith and where, united with the Faiths of different people, it will be able, in a single impulse of an open heart, to reach heaven and say: “Come, God, your house is waiting for you,” and this Temple is not included into those 30,000 thousands that Kirill is building.
This Temple, the Temple of Faith, which is built by Alena Polyn. As the Messiah, she is reviving the Faith and give everyone hope that God will be the Master in the house of God.
Alena Polyn is the new Messiah and it is the duty of every thinking person to help in the construction of this temple, for the House of God is being built and I believe that when I enter this Temple, the Temple that the new Messiah is building, I will hear the voice of the old woman and she will say to me: “The God has come. He has come to his home.»